Monday, December 12, 2005

Beautiful Change

Whew! That was an intense weekend! Six hours of shopping on Friday, several hours of baking on Saturday, a birthday party, enough sugar to fill an entire shipping container, and a mean trick from a friend, all culminated into an emotional breakdown Sunday night that just about made my head explode. I hadn’t had a chance to just sit down and think about turning 25.

Well now I have a bit of time to reflect. Although I’m not so sure about 25 being a “milestone,” I certainly hope it is a turning point for me. I like the idea of turning points. But when I consider all the things that I want to have change in my life and in me, I am overwhelmed to the point of paralysis. And in the past, when I thought my life was about to change, it just stayed the same. I’ve asked God countless times to help me change and sometimes it seems as though things are happening but then they never do. I guess there are no such things as turning points, at least not for me. Instead, I need to consider every day a turning point, and daily redirect my focus to Christ and away from myself and my problems. Like filling in the blanks until they make a solid line - if they ever make a solid line.

I know what I need to do, but I’m afraid to do it. When I really think about it though, I’m even more afraid of doing nothing. I don’t want to turn 26 and find my life is exactly the same as when I turned 25.

(the title is from an Innocence Mission song I like - I know, it's a bit syrupy for me)

Thursday, December 01, 2005

I Miss My Sister!!



I do have a sister! I really do! Only you'd never know it, because she's far away in Germany. She's too busy eating chocolate and drinking beer in her liederhosen to give a thought to her poor, sober sister in BC. Oh Engl Dengl, I miss you.